I'm Done.

This isn't what I want. This has never been what I wanted, and I thought that was clear. Through all the signs, I still carried on as things were. Afraid to loose not only what I couldn't have,but was never mine to begin with. I heard the advice from my friends and peers, and listened to what my mind would scream before I fell asleep, but didn't listen. I continued falling down the rabbit hole to self destruction until I hit the bottom. I clinged to anything an everything I could grab, "anything is better than nothing". It's not though. Even though it's hard for me to see right now, this is the best move. I deserve to feel like I'm enough.

I am enough. I am full of life, and a child at heart. I am caring and helpful. I sincerely want to change the world for the better. I stand up for who and what I believe in. I sometimes fail, but I am still enough. I am human, and I am a woman, and I am enough. I am enough of a dreamer to yearn to be treated like a queen. I am enough of a realest to settle for princess. I know enough to realize that life goes on. But I cared enough for my heart to ache. I am enough. And I will not settle for anything or anyone that doesn't make feel like I'm enough.

I just got back from returning his belongings. I thought I saw an ounce of pain/regret. "This is out of nowhere" he said. I had to remind him it had been like this for a while, that I couldn't keep giving and not receiving. That I couldn't keep going on with things as they were. Feelings. I'm done.

I drove away and tried not to look back. Why is it after all he did to me I find myself crying?